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Riane

Konc

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      • Writing

        Funny Stuff

        The New Yorker

        The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over the Lazy Dog, Across Genres

        Presidential Trolley Problems

        Aesop's Fables Written After a Bad Breakup

        New Hallmark Christmas Movies From Your Favorite Hollywood Directors

        Comedy = Tragedy + Time, and Other Equations

        Reviews Are in for 'The Female Joker'

        Your New Generalized-Anxiety Home-Security System

        Poorly Phrased News Alerts

        Tips for Writing a Novel

        Bad News, Good News

        Power Anthems for Adults

        Emily Dickinson's Patreon

        Honest Dating Profiles of Punctuation Marks

        Spooky Things That Have Happened Since They Opened That Sarcophagus in Egypt

        Updated Presidential Fitness Test

        Michael Jordan vs. LeBron James: Everything You Need to Know

        Encouragement for Struggling Creatives

        Cool Facts About the Library

        F.B.I. Secrets That James Comey Knows

        The Season's Hottest New Podcasts

        How to Dismiss Harassment Like a French Woman

        A Holiday Gift Guide for Manly Men

        Realistic Birth Announcements

        I Swear That I, Justin Trudeau, Am Not Trying to Hurt You

        Excerpts from the All-Girl Remake of "Lord of the Flies"

        I'm Banksy, and I'll Prove It

        Excerpts from Steinbeck's Novel About the 2013-17 Drought

        Covfefe ... for Her

        What's in James Comey's Memos?

        The Ed Hardy Boys

        One Hundred Days of Ineptitude

        Heartwarming Movies, Adapted for Congressional Republicans

        Jazz: A Few Definitions

        This American Carnage

        Wow, Weather

         

        The New York Times

        Autumn Means More Than Wet Socks and Gourd Tea

        Airbnb Review of My Childhood Home

        The Hunter-Gatherers of 2017

         

        McSweeney's

        A Statement from Secretary Mike Pompeo Regarding the Amount of Blank World Maps in His House

        FAQ: Your New Houseplant

        Thank You for Coming to Our Used Clothing Store to Sell Your Ugly Garbage Clothes

        We Must Defend Thanos's Constitutional Right to Snap His Fingers and Make Half of the Universe Disappear

        Congratulations on Your Accomplishment!

        Rihanna's 'Bitch Better Have My Money,' Repurposed for Freelancers

        If You Liked Tough Mudder, You'll Love the Latest Obstacle Course for Adults ... NAVIGATING YOUR DEPRESSION

        The Re-Gifts of the Wise Men

        The Myth of Paul Ryan

        FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The Birth of Samuel Allen Novak

        Every Single Possible Way I Have Attempted to Repurpose Nabakov's Famous Line "(Picnic, Lightning)"

        Critics Respond to Classic Jokes Told by Male Comedians and Female Comedians

        Is Your Teen an Activist?

        Welcome to PINT-SIZED, the Daycare Bar for Adults

         

        Electric Literature

        Literary Wedding Ideas for People Who Don't Really Understand Books

        We Cloned Charlotte Brontë from a Lock of Her Hair, and Chaos Ensued: Welcome to Brontësaurus Park

        Books Where the Dog Dies, Re-Written So the Dog Doesn't Die

        I Only Listen to Audiobooks on Vinyl

        The Creator of 'BoJack Horseman' Has a New Way to Break Your Heart (my interview with Raphael Bob-Waksberg)

         

        The American Bystander

        Can I Be Real With You for a Second? by Yankee Doodle

        Seasons' Greetings from the Steinbeck Family! (Reprint)

        I Am a Writer. Please Don't Make Me Write.

        Who Are the Democratic Socialists of America?

         

        Reductress

        I Have No F***ing Idea How I'm Supposed to Feel About Coldplay

        Four Foods from Infancy We Wish They'd Bring Back

        Ways to Be Ambiguous About Whether You Have a Cat or a Child

        My Name is Too Weird to Be On a Coke Can

        Natural Highs That Are Way Better While Actually High

        Did You Not Read the Pillow That Said 'Live, Laugh, Love'?

        'RIP, John Cena!' and Other Things We Would Say if the Very Healthy John Cena Died

         

        National Lampoon / Weekly Humorist

        Your Guide to the Super Bowl

        Donnie's Book Report About the Witch Hunt

        Everyone Gawking at Me at This Skate Park is Failing to Focus on the 47% of Bones I DIDN'T Break

        James Comey's Medications

        Give Peas a Chance

        Trump's Plans for a Canadian Border Wall

        A Few More Statements About Black History Month From President Trump

         

        Mad Magazine

        Brookstone's in Deep

        A New Chipotle Rewards Program

        Let's All Take the Loyalty Oath!

        A First in Outer Space

        Beware: Snapchat Dysmorphia

        A Hot Dog Eating Contest

        Bitcoin Breaks the Internet

         

        Parents Magazine

        To: Baby manufacturer Subject: Missing parts--important!!!

        If Toddlers Threw Their Own Parties

        What's Your Disney Princess Parenting Style?

        Daniel Tiger Songs for Adults

         

        The Rumpus: Funny Women

        The Mother of All Jobs

        Other Contenders for 2017's Word of the Year

         

        The Belladonna

        My 14 Best Pickup Lines That Are Always Successful and Good

        Email Signatures, Decoded

         

        Slackjaw

        I Like My Men Like I Like My ...

        Inspiring Quotes About Journalism I Like to Share With Journalists Just in Case It Helps

         

        Submittable

        Less Famous Second Lines From Great Works of Literature

         

        The Cut

        I Think About This A Lot: The NSYNC Song 'Space Cowboy'

         

        Paste Magazine

        A Mommy Message Board Dissects the Ending of The Grapes of Wrath

         

        Points in Case

        Episode from the Dark, Gritty Reboot of Blue's Clues

         

        The Offing

        What Perfume Is

         

        The Hairpin

        I'm So Excited to Announce that I Now Say 'Namaste'

         

        The Toast

        Seasons' Greetings from the Steinbeck Family!

        The Gradual Devolution of My Goals as an English Teacher

        Songs from a Bon Iver Album In Which Everyone is Emotionally Stable and Living in the Suburbs

        Good Friends vs. Best Friends

         

        The Establishment

        If e.e. cummings Were a Spambot

        25 Tracks from Donald Trump's Spotify Playlist

        What I Mean When I Say 'YAAAAAS Queen'

        Elves on the Shelf Can't Justify Electoral College

         

        Cafe

        Usher Songs We're All Looking at a Little Differently Now

        D.B. Weiss and David Benioff Have Lots of Other Offensive Show Ideas

        As Sperm Count Continues to Drop, Drastic Measures Must Be Taken

        More Leaked Game of Thrones Episodes That We Just Made Up

        Jay-Z Thinks Chris Martin is a Modern Day Shakespeare

        6 Shows to Expect from Shonda Rhimes

        Joel Osteen's Bible Just May Read a Little Differently Than Yours

        Cincinnati Parent Monthly Column


        January

        Parenting in the Kidwest

         

        February

        Just Call Me a Pizza Parent

         

        March

        Pure Genius

         

        April

        Kid Catwalk

         

        May

        Mistakes Were Made

         

        June

        Life With a Threenager

         

        July

        Skating Through Life

         

        August

        Soccer Goals

         

        September

        Kid in the Kitchen

         

         

        Essays

        Image Journal

        Earthbound Hymn

        The Gospel According to Fleabag

         

        The Cut

        I Think About This A Lot: The 'NSync Song 'Space Cowboy'
         

        Medium Member Features

        Open Your Hands, Here Is Some Light

         

        McSweeney's

        One Small Blow Against Encroaching Totalitarianism: She is New Here

         

        Electric Literature

        Can You Speed-Read Your Way to Happiness?

         

        Washington Post

        Why My First Year of Parenthood Was Like a Year At Sea

         

        River Teeth (Beautiful Things Column)

        Missing

         

        Steinbeck Review

        When I Got a Word From a Steinbeck Novel Tattooed on My Arm

      Riane Konc © 2018

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