• HELLO.

    I'M RIANE

    Riane Konc is a humor writer and essayist living in the Midwest.

    "Look, if we’re talking about who is the most self-conscious about his forearms (and so is always hiding them in those tight sleevies), then LeBron is the clear winner. But, as every sports editor I have ever worked for has reminded me, that is literally never what we are talking about."

    Medium Member Feature Stories: "Open Your Hands, Here is Some Light"

    May 28, 2018

     

    "Which is to say I knew I had been unable to get off the couch for weeks, but I didn't know that my daughter also knew until the day she patted the cushion next to me and said, 'This is mommy's house.'"

     

    The New Yorker: Encouragement for Struggling Creatives

    MAY 28, 2018

     

    "At the age of twenty-three, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job. This is the beginning and the end of the things you have in common with Oprah."

    "Steve nods, staring down at the envelope for one beat, two beats, then slowly raises his head, looks into the camera, and whispers: 'We just got a letter.'"

    "She knows 'dog' and she knows 'pig,' but she is young, so she thinks these are words for animals, not women. She is new here."

    "Of course, Female Comedian, a liberal elite who has six roommates, would believe that she knows best when it comes to what motivates chickens. This joke is literally why Trump won."