The New Yorker
A Holiday Gift Guide for Manly Men
Realistic Birth Announcements
I Swear That I, Justin Trudeau, Am Not Trying to Hurt You
Excerpts from the All-Girl Remake of "Lord of the Flies"
I'm Banksy, and I'll Prove It
Excerpts from Steinbeck's Novel About the 2013-17 Drought
Covfefe ... for Her
What's in James Comey's Memos?
The Ed Hardy Boys
One Hundred Days of Ineptitude
Heartwarming Movies, Adapted for Congressional Republicans
Jazz: A Few Definitions
This American Carnage
The New York Times
The Hunter-Gatherers of 2017
Welcome to PINT-SIZED, the Daycare Bar for Adults
National Lampoon (currently hosted on Weekly Humorist)
James Comey's Medications
Give Peas a Chance
Trump's Plans for a Canadian Border Wall
A Few More Statements About Black History Month From President Trump
Seasons' Greetings from the Steinbeck Family!
The Gradual Devolution of My Goals as an English Teacher
Songs from a Bon Iver Album In Which Everyone is Emotionally Stable and Living in the Suburbs
Good Friends vs. Best Friends
I'm So Excited to Announce that I Now Say 'Namaste'
The Rumpus: Funny Women
The Mother of All Jobs
I Have No F***ing Idea How I'm Supposed to Feel About Coldplay
Four Foods from Infancy We Wish They'd Bring Back
Ways to Be Ambiguous About Whether You Have a Cat or a Child
My Name is Too Weird to Be On a Coke Can
Natural Highs That Are Way Better While Actually High
Did You Not Read the Pillow That Said 'Live, Laugh, Love'?
'RIP, John Cena!' and Other Things We Would Say if the Very Healthy John Cena Died
A Mommy Message Board Dissects the Ending of The Grapes of Wrath
If e.e. cummings Were a Spambot
25 Tracks from Donald Trump's Spotify Playlist
What I Mean When I Say 'YAAAAAS Queen'
Elves on the Shelf Can't Justify Electoral College
What Perfume Is
Can You Speed-Read Your Way to Happiness?
Why My First Year of Parenthood Was Like a Year At Sea
River Teeth (Beautiful Things Column)
The Lookout Magazine
The Love of Dog
Is This, Then, How You Should Pray?
Can't We All Just Get Along? (Practicing Mutual Affection)
Returning to Narnia
When I Got a Word From a Steinbeck Novel Tattooed on My Arm